Four Ways to Nurture your Child’s Individuality

It reminds me that there is an artful science to gardening. Some flowers need lots of sun, while others thrive in the shade. There are flowers that are resilient, while others need to be frequently cared for.

When we approach all flowers the same, some will drown from daily watering or wither under the constant sun. Yet, a flower can grow and thrive when we pay attention to its individual needs.

Is it not the same with our children?

We must nurture our children in a way that honors who they are as an individual. When we do this, they are able to grow and thrive. Here are a few tips to to nurture your child’s individuality:

• Embrace their uniqueness. Children are separate persons with unique personal needs, interests, and goals. It is important that we see them as such and give them unconditional love that is not based on our interests, needs or expectations of success.

• Support their individual interests. It is important to learn what your child is interested in and support him by taking interest as well. This can by way of participating in the activity with them or supporting their ability to improve and master that skill. My children love Roblox so I created an account so that I can play with them. They get a kick out of my “mom” avatar. Taking interest in what your child is interested in helps build a strong relationship with your child and assisting them in mastering a skill or activity allows them to feel competent which grows positive self-esteem.

• Build and maintain a connected relationship. Being connected keeps the lines of communication open, and this is especially important as children grow in tweens and teens. into adolescence. Knowing that she has you to talk to, that you will listen without casting out immediate judgment and take her feelings seriously, will help her to feel supported, safe, and important.

• Expose them to a variety of experiences. Maybe you are an avid reader, enjoy gardening, or host events. Talk to your child about the characters in the books you are reading, teach them the right way to grow cucumbers, let your child taste test your desserts for the events you host.  These seemingly small experiences will allow your child to feel welcomed into your varied pursuits, and the variety will help them identify their own passions and allow their creative expression to grow.

“Nurturing a child’s individual personal identity strengthens social, emotional and cognitive development and provides a strong foundation for success .” - psychotherapist Jenny Devenny